Letters
10th of April 2009, 8:25am
From: Ms Angel Garden
Subject: Re: violence at school
Date: 10 April 2009 8:25:48 am GMT+12:00
To: Mark
Thank you for this reply, which i received a few days ago and they have been busy days! We are responding to your email and hope that our points will be useful in your further efforts over the holidays.
I note the bullet points with interest and am really glad and relieved to see that this heinous matter may be taken as seriously as it deserves.
I note that there will be a review of the school's policy with regard to bullying and physical acts of aggression. May I ask to see the current policy please?
What is the time-frame for this review given the urgency of the situation? Who will be monitoring it? Will the Trust be involved? How will the process and the results be transparent?
(As a technical point, shouldn't the policy be on the web-site somewhere at the back as it were? After all, Titirangi Steiner School exists on the same planet as all other New Zealand schools, and there are issues in general in New Zealand to do with bullying at school. Potential parents need to know that we have got this covered.)
Also, I would be more than happy to give time to helping to formulate and clarify any anti-bullying strategy or paper, there is quite a bit of research involved, which, as a concerned parent at this Steiner school, I have already started.
It feels appropriate to mention here that I have taught both self-defence and assertiveness techniques to both children and adults for many years as well as having studied Ki Aikido (the way of harmony) for over 10 years, to 2nd Dan grade. I have both credentials and experience in developing non-violent communication strategies. I offered some Ki development training and had a conversation with Susanne about it. When I mentioned that it would be about developing mental and physical balance anchored in the 'one-point', an area just below the navel, Susanne said that it would not fit in with Steiner ethos and it was not desirable that the children should be encouraged to act from or even be aware of this centre at this young age.
Yet what i witnessed on the deck the other afternoon (play, presumably), was extremely visceral, consisting of [......] basically belting other children with a large stick. Is this more in tune with Steiner ethos? Certainly it was not coming from any centre high up the body. If the children are operating from this lower centre, which is evident, it is no wonder that there is so little self-control, if there is not structure for the experience of it. In the face of all the evidence it does seem dogmatic to insist on denying that this centre is already a part of they need help to channel these energies, especially having been allowed to operate with so little self-control for so long.
And because there are so many boys, and they are so 'wild', that is even more imbalance, which is really putting the girls at a disadvantage. Far from being allowed the space to explore their own childhood for longer, they appear to me arming up, getting tough and being completely distracted from themselves. In what way does this fit in with Rudolf Steiner's vision?
So far, [R] has not told me that the class has been informed that there is to be any kind of change in the general standard of accepted behaviours as far as hitting etc., is concerned. Many children are of the opinion that it is just 'play'. This is clearly a failing of the school who have allowed this to pass for so long that it is simply the culture.
Regarding being on site during playtimes, we have already stated our position. We have written about the lack of trust we feel and it does not feel appropriate to be asked to extend more trust at such a time as a response. If we felt trustful, or that the situation was reliably safe, we would not be presenting these calls to action.
[R] has told me that most of the class was entrusted to [a parent] for a games lesson on the field. [R] and [...] told [the parent] that [...] slapped [R] on the arm and deliberately tripped [...] up, and [a parent] undertook to 'pretend' he was on [...]’s team's side. Although well-meaning, this is emphatically not the kind of management that will result in a total absence of that sort of behaviour.
Why is a parent in charge of the class who has not been filled in on the necessity to follow through such incidents with the consequences that have been set up? Why did Mrs Haswell tell [R] not to 'tell tales', when she reported being poked by [...]? These incidents show that there is no continuity of care on this issue within the school and that, in spite of your letter, and even in this last week of school, it is still not safe. There is not consistency in approach and in spite of your assurances of taking it seriously, key adults have obviously not been informed.
In a situation where children have demonstrably not been safe, it is quite illogical to ask that parents trust that they will be safe, or to entrust them to people who have not actually managed to keep them safe, as the trust will come from the repeated experience of that safety and nothing else. Evidently, we do need to be absent to activate that experience and yet, Steve was not patrolling the playground when he was asked to stop being at school, but sitting out of sight, in the way as it happened, but more than willing to move.
It is not up to us to prove that we trust your anti-bullying policy at the moment, if there is one. it is actually really really hard to see it that way, and i doubt that many people would. To put it bluntly, we would never forgive ourselves if [R] got really hurt, either in body or in spirit, because we had left her with you. It sounds harsh doesn't it, and if pupils were not regularly punched, kicked, poked, pinched, and shamed, it would sound paranoid.
However long this situation has been going on, and everybody has something to say about that!, coming from outside, and not possibly being inured to it by daily exposure over some years, it is extraordinary and very sad....basically unrealistic to expect such a situation to continue.
In point of fact, now that i am an assistant, and Steve is a janitor, we will be at school quite a lot anyway!
It is also quite wrong to ask [R] to stay home because her parents feel the need to be around to protect her, whilst allowing children who harm and hurt others to attend. [R] agrees that this is unfair.
Not only is it illogical, but it is actually bullying behaviour, which colludes with those perpetrating violence, and our response is the same as the children's should be, we will refer it to a higher authority.
If you insist that we should vacate school premises and leave [R] in your (or another parent's care), in spite of evidence that the environment is not safe, we will notify the Ministry of Education. Likewise if we observe further acts of intentional hurt among the children, in spite of 'safeguards', and with no visible consequences, but are not allowed to intervene to protect children, before notifying a staff member, we will notify the Ministry.
Our consideration in this matter will be that the policy of bullying at the school, is not fit for purpose and that the Titirangi Steiner School needs help to keep it's children safe. As long as the school is aware of our position and ok with that, we have no problem following your 'rules' on the matter.
We want to work with you to create a safe and happy school environment, where children are not hurt or afraid.
Mark, you said to Steve today that no-one has complained about this until now, well that's very strange, especially given the amount of testimony we have heard from past and present parents on an informal basis. Fear has a way of permeating and dominating. I wonder what everyone is so afraid of?
With best wishes and hope that further disucssion, research and getting real around the subject will be fruitful.
Happy Easter to All
Steve and Angel