Hypocrisy ?
Monday, 29 June 2009
"To claim any sort of ‘victimisation’ without acknowledging your own responsibility is not an adult position"
Yes, of course someone quoted this back at me on Sunday, only one person it’s true, but I was going to write this anyway because of course it's true.
So, as parents who have taken actions, we must and will examine them to see what we have done, or could have done to create a different outcome. Believe us, we are still scratching our heads!
That does not, in any way, effect what was written on this site yesterday, or the general principle of socialism which is 'there but for the grace of god go I'.
That is the principle under which we have not made any recrimination about any particular boy in the school, because we do not see that as the issue. We have simply and only asked the school to look to it's own systems, which haven't been working, and fix them so that they do.
That is why we have been ejected from the school. We have publicised the correspondence to make everything transparent, which is a concept that the school have zero understanding of. You, the parents whose children have not found themselves left alone in the bush with boys who have hurt them, are free to judge us as adults.
It may not be the way you would have dealt with this issue, you may have walked away, as people have said we should have, or you may have 'had a quiet word with the boy' as we have also been advised. Or you may agree with the advice we received from the office of the Children’s Commissioner which was to “remind the school that they have a legal duty to keep children safe from harm”. But if you read the correspondence you will have to admit that there is nothing there but the continued request that the school does what it says on the tin, which they have manifestly failed to do.
So we knew that by being transparent we were opening ourselves up to judgement, but we acted in good faith, so if it was wrong, look for some communication to that effect that might have warned us that the school would suddenly without warning, kick our kids out.
As far as our children are concerned, they really are the victims in this. We do not believe that an eight year old should be held responsible for being attacked by two boys from behind, and the exhortations of the mums that if you “don’t like the rough and tumble, don’t join in”, don’t apply either when attacked from behind, all of which is obvious you would think.
That is is why this web-site needs to exist because a school community that will allow that to happen to them, because 'it didn't happen in another class - so we don't care', is a pretty dangerous place. It is uncomfortable, but some things are worth standing up for. The right of children not to be hit, even if they are not yours, seems like a good standard.
We would just like to assure all parents, that we have, and would always, take any violence against your kids pretty seriously too, and much of our correspondence has been about incidents that happened to other children in the class - a class remember where four children have left in the last six weeks. A class where every single one of the girls have stood in my kitchen and told me squarely that they are regularly bullied.
Criticise us all you like, but don't use that as an easy-out for a school behaving in this way.
Of course we don't mean to suggest that the consequences of their regime are of the same import as Iran, or Zimbabwe, to name just two.....and it is a bit crass to take it that way frankly.
But please show me why, in this instance, the mechanisms are not comparable. Thrown out with no warning, no procedures or right of appeal just for talking? What does it remind you of? Show us how that is democratic please, and back it up from the text!
Oh yes, and one more symptom of a total lack of democracy - having meetings about you to which you are not invited as class 3/4 did today.
(If you’ve read this far, please take a moment to re-visit this site where your input can make a real difference. Thanks.